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Life can be funny and cruel at the same time. Just learn to laugh while you cry.

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Feb. 22nd, 2006 @ 10:19 pm Jennie's Grand Kid!
Julian, born February 10th, 2006.

Took a few pics today, so without further ado....

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Jan. 13th, 2006 @ 09:59 am Stuff?
I want this, Nikon D50 Digital SLR.

This is why I'm selling my camera. I may even go as far as selling my main camera and accessories.

If I do that though, I may as well sell my entire B&W darkroom. I mean, it's not like I even have it setup as I no room for it.

The darkroom I'll sell locally though. It's too much to even think about shipping.

There's something about working in a darkroom that cannot be reproduced on a PC. The complete and total control without the encumbrance of technology. Plus I miss the smell of fixer.

*sigh* Yet... my entire darkroom is sitting in a corner of my garage.

Ironic. Nikon just annouced that it's dicontinuing SOME of its tradiational film cameras and concentrating on digital.

I remember back in the early 90's when digital SLRs were over $4,000. Back then, they were a novelty only afforded by the super-rich. They had limited functionality, accessories, and sub-par quaility compared to film.

Oh how things have changed.

I've always been a Minolta fan, but Nikon's prices are so much better now.

I still have my Kodak DC265 digital camera. I paid $150 for it when I worked at CompUSA. It was the demo model and at the time, was worth over $250. My god, what a relic. It's huge, slow, and awkward to hold. Still, it works, but I'll be lucky if I can get $30 for it nowadays. It's not worth selling.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in a B&W darkroom, I'll take offers! I'll even provide setup and intructions. :)
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Jan. 12th, 2006 @ 10:56 pm Not real update
I'm alive.

Anyway, I'm selling my entire backup camera kit if anyone is interested.
Camera Kit on eBay

My main setup, a Minolta Maxxum 9000, has more features, but this setup for sale is more reliable. *shrugs*
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Aug. 26th, 2005 @ 08:15 am (no subject)
Another update.

Meet with Annie and Stephen on Tues to help her with a gorgeous coffee table. Afterwords, dinner at Korean House. It was a first for Jennie and I at that place. Highly recommended. I loved the rib meat I ordered. It was nice seeing Annie and Stephen again. It's been TOO long, and we'll have to do this more often.

Got my new bike weds. I love it. It's actually a 2003 model. I've already replaced the seat post, seat, and pedals. To give you an idea how cheap a $230 bike is, the 3 parts I swapped on it cost 1/2 of the bike's total.

The parts I already had though. The seat was courtesy of AH-nold, the seat post was from Porsche, and the pedals were my clipless that I rotated between all my rides.

Oh, I also threw on my cyclo-computer with a heart rate monitor. I've used this thing only ONCE since I got it back in 2002. I found my target heart rate which is about 140bpm (+/-15bpm) for fat burning.

Yestarday I hit Supergo and bought new cycling shoes, cleats for the pedals, and my first pair of cycling socks by Pearl Izumi. Very comfy, and way cool. Skull design on the socks. Supergo is having a helluva sale, socks were only $5.50, and shoes were $40.

I'm torn between keeping my new ride as a gearie, or converting it into a fixie. The bike is heavy, but I was able to shed about one pound with the new parts. It's down to probably 24 lbs now. That's heavy. An expensive road weighs in at about 17 lbs.

Today I ordered two bottles of Xenadrine. I've used it before and it really does work. I should get back to my ideal weight of 200 lbs in about 1 month. Jennie doesn't want me to use it, but it's safe. It just accelerates fat breakdown.

Hmm... just what's going on. Doesn't sound too exciting, nothing insightful.

My new ride:
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Aug. 17th, 2005 @ 11:10 pm (no subject)
Still alive. I bought a new stereo for my truck with speakers. I got the Sony Xplod CDX-7810 (or something like that) with pioneer 6880r speakers (4 of them). It jams.

Also, turning in my app for the El Tour tomorrow. I have my eye on a new road bike for a whopping $230. Yeah, super cheap, but it has two wheels. Should be fun.

I need to ride more. I gained quite a bit of FAT!!! Ugh. It's contageous. Sitting around on our fat asses eatin' all day. Need to start training... too freakin' hot. I've become a wuss to the heat.

Jennie and I are still in bliss. She's says sorry she's hogging me all for herself.
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Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 09:47 pm PICTURES!!! Finally
Okay.. my cuz' wedding pic.
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See more here: WEDDING PICS

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Okay, so here are the names from left to right.

Me (obviously), Joe, Emily, Mickey (as if you didn't know), and Jennie.

See more pics here: DISNEYLAND PICS!!!!
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Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 10:46 am Everytime I feel like updating, I find I have nothing to say.
Current Mood: bored
A/C fixed, btw. It was the fan motor to the condensor unit. Total damage was $277 including labor. Much less than I expected which was a great relief....

I also bought a small portable evap cooler, but it doesn't work too well so back it goes. *shrugs*

Recieved my new cranks for my ss, but I still haven't fixed it. I need to drill out the chainrings because they are 'el cheapo' cranks, and can't take a wrench to it. Still, they are what I need because it has the 36t non-ramped chainring on it which I want! Once I drill out the chainrings, I can just attach the one ring I want to it instead of having all three rings. I know.. how terribly exciting.

I haven't rode a whole lot lately. Too damn hot, I'm getting too damn lazy, and I feel that I'm too damn busy... which in reality, I'm not.... busy that is. Lazy yes...

Lee got into urban assult free-riding, and wants me to partake in such activities. Sure, why not?

Tonight, I'll see about scanning pics from disneyland and the wedding to post up some time later. Have to re-install my scanner drivers.
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Jun. 22nd, 2005 @ 10:13 am (no subject)
Current Mood: worried
Went camping/fishing last weekend up in Mt. Lemmon. We fished up in Rose Canyon lake, and slept at Prison Camp.

We caught 7 small rainbow trout. Not really big enough to take the time to prepare and eat though. 2 of them I was able to throw back, so we had 5 fishies to take home.

The day we came back, my a/c broke at home. This really really sucks, and it couldn't happen at a worse time. It reached around 110 degrees, and I don't think I have enough money to fix it until July 1st.

I'm having a tech come out to diagnose it and try to fix it tomorrow though. If I can keep the repairs and labor under $200, I'll be okay.... I think.

If worse comes to worse, I'll finance a new a/c unit and installation IF I qualify for financing. My student loans payments are late, and it may have some bearing on whether I qualify or not.
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Jun. 2nd, 2005 @ 09:53 am An update of sorts.
Yes, still alive and kickin'.

Strange new stage in my life.

Cousin got married and photos taken. I'll see about scanning a few and posting them.

I also, went to Disneyland with Jennie and 2 kids in tow. They've never been to Disneyland or even set foot in the state of California. I was more than happy to bring them there. We all had a most happy time throughout the entire trip. Disneyland and California Adventure was so much fun.

We rented a small suv and AVIS upgraded us to the large SUV for free. There was some major problems at first and our vacation started a day late. We didn't make it to the Grand Canyon, but it was just as well. I don't like jammed-packed vacations. Perhaps next time. I'd like to show them Sedona and Flagstaff. I've never been to Utah and would like to see Monument Valley. Jennie also wants to visit Sea World next time, and I want to take them to Old Town and Balboa Park in San Diego.

We hit Dana Point Beach on the way back. They never saw the Pacific Ocean... or the "Spacific Ocean" as they put it. We all got a tad sunburn, even me. :) I hadn't relaxed on a beach in years. Jennie being originally from the east coast, they'll have to show me the Atlantic Ocean in return.

During the end of our trip, as I was driving home on I-8, I got really depressed. Driving through El Centro and Yuma really hit me hard for reasons I won't go into now.

Bicycling.. *SIGH*. I haven't biked a lot recently. Perhaps once or twice in the past couple weeks. It sucks and brings me down. All my bikes except one (Pris) is down due to either flats or broken parts. AH-nold's left crank arm is ruined. I need new cranks. That really has me bummed. I also lost one of my riding shoes with the eggbeater cleat. I love Pris, but riding my ss is so much more fun.

Bike polo? Yikes... I haven't played in so long, I think I forgot how.

Nothing fits in my garage anymore. I don't even have room to work on my bikes. It's way too damn hot to sort through stuff to make room at the moment.

Anyway... as for me personally. Well, that'll have to wait for some time later.
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Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 03:45 pm Help slow me down
Current Mood: guilty
Time... I never seem to have much of it left anymore. Seriously. I blink and it's gone just like that.

Like my life, Prisilla and Porsche have undergone some very drastic changes.

Craving sushi badly lately. I missed both invites from Annie. :( I miss sushi at sushi-hama... I miss Pancho. Perhaps next weekend.

This weekend is supposed to be beautifully cool. I plan on riding the 50-year trail. I haven't been there in so long. It's a good trail. I haven't been riding since Chiva Falls. I feel awful physically, and that brings me down. Energy levels tapped out lately without riding regularly.

Home life... dear god, what have I done? One word, roomates. I got more than I can shake a stick at right now. LOL! Oh, and a cat and a dog. I couldn't name her, "Doggy #1", so we decided on "Sheba". A mutt. Mutts are cool. Thay are a breed despite what people say. She's a tiny little thing. Taken from her mother way too soon, *sigh* but now she has a new home with us. :)

Money! Yes.. roomates = $$$ for me. This is good. I'm getting the internet back, and cable tv. There are other benefits to having roomies besides money. :)

Choices. We always have choices to make. Sometimes.. I just wish I didn't have to make any. Sometimes.. I don't.. and that makes me a coward. I hate that.
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Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 01:56 pm Ow.
Current Mood: apathetic
That just looks.... painful. My friend after Pris threw him from the saddle at Chiva Falls.

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Apr. 21st, 2005 @ 10:52 am (no subject)
Current Mood: uncomfortable
An update?! Sure, why not....

Well, I can no longer complain about being in a rut, same old routine day in, day out. Everything has changed.

I think the biggest change is that I lost my best friend... and that hurts something horrible inside. A pain that leaves this huge hole in me. Then that pain sinks down into my legs, my feet, and every step is a struggle to move forward.

This person has been in my life constantly for 10 years, and it's over. It feels so unreal at this moment. I'm just refusing to accept reality right now. I don't think I can let it go though. I'm not ever going to talk about this anymore until something changes again.

.......

Riding a little less due to time and projects, but at least I try to get out at least one day on the weekend. I and a few friends rode Chiva Falls. It was a blast until one guy took a nasty spill. Ground his elbow to the bone... literally. I saw bone. He was a n00b borrowing one of my bikes, Pris. We walked with him the last 2 miles to our trucks. Another friend took him to Urgent Care afterwords.

I should have thrown a fatter tire on the front. I didn't think he'd take a fall that bad, but I guess we were pushing him a little beyond his limits. The skinnier tire was made for a more experienced rider on that trail. I feel bad.

We were bombing down the trail back to the begining. The trail was extremely dry and dusty with loose dirt due to no rain and all the 4x4 vehicles tearing it up everyday. I was behind the guy who took the fall. I saw everything from begining to end.

He hit a good dirtjump and launched himself in the air. Unfortunately his landing was entirely off. Upon landing, the front wheel slid out from under him, and he went down immediatly in a cloud of dust that soon followed. He slid about 10 feet on his elbow before coming to a stop. Imagine Shamu from Sea WOrld, where he slides up the slick surface out of the water to be petted and fed. That's what this looked like, except there was no treat at the end.

Work is sucking. I'm the "phone-bitch" for the month of April. Grrr.. that makes me very very grumpy. ALmost over.. almost over....

Uhm... had a BBQ on Sunday. I forgot how much I missed having meat seared over hot firey coals. Yummm.
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Apr. 15th, 2005 @ 10:24 am I'm always traveling a two lane road.
Current Mood: confused
Hmm... low on funds. Paid and made the reservations for Disneyland in late May. I hope the park isn't too crowded. At least we'll be there on the weekdays instead of the weekends.

We'll also be reserving a mini-van for the trip as well.

In my past, most of my trips have been either through a mutual discovery of a new place or that I was the wide-eyed passenger with someone else behind the steering wheel.

This time, I'll be showing someone new the things I'm familiar with. They'll be the one discovering the places I've been to.

I've got the road plan mapped out in my skull, but I love to leave room for spontaneity. This entire trip does have me a bit excited. I hope to have time to see the Pacific ocean and visit the quiet touristy town of Julian. For those who aren't familiar with Julian... think of Bisbee for SoCal. The town itself specializes in apples and is nestled among green hills surrounded by apple orchards. They have the famous "Mom's Apple Pie" bakery where you can get a fresh uncooked whole pie, or buy by the slice and eat it right there, fresh from the oven.

Yet, on the flip side.. a feeling of betrayal. See, this was not my discovery. I was taken here a long time ago, what seems like a lifetime ago. Funny how people change, feelings change, and the wanting of something once familiar from a far faded memory comes back to haunt us, making us longing for old times to return. Yet, like salt on an open wound, we are reminded of what was so long ago cannot be relived, and it hurts from within.

I know, I should move on, be happy. I just never believed that I would be taking someone new to these happy familiar places of my past. I'm conflicted inside, a duality of pain and joy.
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Apr. 13th, 2005 @ 12:30 pm The Great Outdoors
Current Mood: mischievous
Last weekend Jennie and I went camping out in Patagonia. We left late Friday night and didn't get camp setup until around midnight. Unfortunately, we lost one of the sleeping bags, so we had to make due with just one sleeping bag and a blanket. HAHAHA! If anyone has camped in the desert before, there isn't much to keep the warmth of the day so night time gets incredibly cold fast.

Saturday we woke up to a hollering bird of some type. Jennie wanted to shoot it with her 9, which we brought along. Most of the day was spent eating junk food. Early that afternoon, we headed to Nogalas, across the border. We walked around, and ate at some place at one of the street vendor hubs. After drinking my margarita, half of Jennie's margarita, and then taking a shot of tequila, I then had my first experience as a drug mule. Woo-whoo! I won't go into details.

I was still hungry, and wanted more in my stomach to absorb some of the alcohol, so I stopped at McDonalds. They screwed up my order, but what the hell. I was just glad they spoke english.

We arrived back at our campsite, and then retired a bit in the tent. Jennie had bought a kick-ass blanket in nogie, so we had some more warmth that night.

The sun fell, and the evening snuck up on us as the large shadow of a near by hill cloaked us in early darkness. We decided to start a campfire to warm us and cook ourselves dinner. Well actually, Jennie did the cooking.........

Okay.. so moving right along. I'm eating, what jennie called, "H.A. steak" just to..uhm... eat in silence. I did appreciate the steak, but I think I'm used to the way I cook steak. She cooked herself a wonderful pork chop. We also had hot chocolate.

That night was much better than the first as we had an extra blanket now, but the ground was hard. I must be getting old because it really bothered me. Next time, I'm bringing a freak'n air mattress!

I want to go camping again, but this time for fishing as well up on Mt. Lemon. We'll bring Jennie's kids next time.

Tonight, I won't be able to make it to bike polo. Still, I plan on riding my bike a WHOLE LOT after work today.
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Apr. 8th, 2005 @ 09:52 am The power of the darkside.
Current Mood: devious
My cousin just bought a complete road bike! He got an old steel Schwinn road bike for $125. It's really really nice with semi horizontal rear drop-outs. Yes folks... he's going singlespeed! w00t! I'll have to take pics soon.

I rode it a bit inside his paintball store, and the first thing I wanted to do was rip out the derailleurs, pick a rear cog, remove a front chainring, and then adjust the chain. Yeah.. sweet.

It's a perfect canidate for ss. The only major component he would need is a new rear hub. I'm hoping he gets a flip-flop hub so that he can go both fixie and freewheel.

Teaching him to build wheels. I'm thinking we can get the entire bike under 15 lbs. if built right.

Oh, that reminds me, I finally finished the new front wheel for Porsche. I also got a new mechanical disc brake & rotor for $19. The hydro disc brakes will eventually go on Pris once I build a new disc-specific wheelset.

My cousin has been completely seduced by the Darkside of cycling. He now has two complete bikes, working on a third bike, and sold every piece of paintball equipement he owns to pay for all this stuff. I've already taught him how to build, maintain, tune, and adjust every thing possible on a bike. We're talking about a guy who couldn't change a flat 5 months ago.

His final step from padawan to master is the wheelbuild. I've walked him through the steps, taught him how to true a wheel, rolling weight/physics, tensioning, and lacing techniques. His first wheel build on his own will be his front wheel. He can't wait. :)
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Apr. 7th, 2005 @ 08:16 am (no subject)
Caught The Rocky Horror Show at the UA last nite. It was pretty damn good, and I'm glad I went. I saw it on film years and years ago, but didn't really care for it except for Tim Curry, and this was way more entertaining. I wish I had brought my 35mm camera. I was quite impressed.

Speaking of impressed, seeing Annie in her outfit was worth the price of admission alone... if there was a price for admission that is. :) It's a shame she was in the balcony controlling the spotlight. Funny, the only thing I can imgaine her with doing in that outfit was riding Dale at the time. Cyclists rule.

Dropped off her laptop. Wish there was more I could do for it, but what's broke is broke. *shrugs*

Didn't get a chance to play bike polo, but I did get to say hi to the guys on the field. After work, I went to supergo to buy a new stem for Porsche. Normally $30, I got it for $8, and 2 new rear blinkie lights for $4/ea.

Talked to Worm for a bit. He cannabalized his full-suspension bike to put his bike polo bike together! Yikes. He said he didn't like the frame. Wonder if he'll like a hardtail frame instead. I'll talk to him next week at polo. I wouldn't mind trading Porsche's frame for that f/s frame of his. If anything, I wonder if he'll sell it outright.

Oh! Almost forgot! They had a motorcycle in the play! That was cool. The badges were removed, so I couldn't tell what kind it was. It had a radiator, and the thing was quiet, so I knew it wasn't a Harely. Perhaps a Yamaha Star something.
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Apr. 6th, 2005 @ 01:22 pm Sometimes I have to wonder...
Current Mood: irritated
Come home to find my trash can missing. That sucked. Called Waste Management, and found out they took it. At least it wasn't stolen (which I actually thought it was, but then I thought to myself, "Who the fuck steals garbage cans?!").

I call them up and they forgot to update their records that showed I paid, so they're bringing out another can.

It's a strange feeling I have with my father. People wonder why I'm not so close nor do they realize why don't I visit him often. I'm sure I'll regret not visiting my father later as his time here on earth comes to a close.

It's always about money with him. Money money money.. then my brother and I fall somewhere there at the bottom of that list of his skewed sense of priorities. He invites me to lunch, but I end up paying for most of OUR meal. Then he tells me I need to save my money! Hrm.

I find it difficult to talk to him sometimes. He means well, I guess. Sometimes they are open, and then sometimes, I have to wonder if I really know my parents at all. I'm sure they think the same of me.

God, how they loved my ex. Now I'm begining to wonder if they loved her, or if they loved her money and success.

I expected my dad to ask questions about Jennie. I just wish he didn't beat around the bush with indirect questions and subtle (yet not so subtle) hints of what he thinks. C'mon, give me more credit than that. *sigh*

He's just looking out for me in his weird uncomfortable ways. Yet... no... he's looking after my finances. "What does she do for a living?", "How old are her kids?", "That many?", "You should save your money.", "They become quite expensive at that age.", "Be careful with the decisions you make.".

*sigh*

Did I hear, "Are you happy?", "How's life?", "How are you doing?"? No.

Oh, let us not forget the inquiries about my ex, "How is she doing?", "Are you guys getting along?", "Does she know?". Of course she knows. She was the FIRST person I told. Oh, didn't I mention for the 1000 time, "We broke up in 1998!". *sigh Sigh SIGH!*

Hmmm... I think I'll take a break from my family.
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Apr. 5th, 2005 @ 01:52 pm Call me the working man, that's what I am.
Current Mood: sleepy
I've NEVER EVER been so miserable at my job as I am right now. Policy changes have forced me to take over the inbound phone calls for a month! A FUCKING MONTH!! Shit, it's my second day on the phones, and I already want to quit.

Dammit. At least my month will be over the soonest, and I won't have to worry about this shit for another 6 months.

God, this boredom is driving me up the fuckin' wall.

Hmm.. no other news. Need to get Porsche up and running. I finally have ALL the parts! Just need MORE TIME and LESS SLEEP! Grr.

Saving up for Disneyland! Woo-whoo!!! End of May, this should be fun. Hopefully they'll have the main castle open. It sucked that last time as it was closed for renovation. Disneyland was always a magical place for me, and now, I hope to share it with some new people. :)
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Apr. 4th, 2005 @ 03:02 pm (no subject)
Weekends feel as if they are getting shorter and shorter. There doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day to do all that I want!

Sleep habits HAVE to change. *stretch* SOOO tired. *yawn* I can't continue to rush into work like this any longer, though fun as it has been.

Rode Chiva Falls with my cousin. I took AH-nold my ss. The falls have lessen since we last were there. Come summertime, it'll be dry but for maybe a small trickle down the brown rocky hillside. It made me glad that we got to see it in its full glory. It makes me happy that I don't take such things for granted.

Oh, this time, ZERO flats! Woo! Our last adventure to the falls involved 5 flats! Hahaha! We made great time on this trip. My cousin took a beating to his legs though. He was proud of the new scars. He drew both first blood and last blood on the trail, Badges of honor.

Later that Sunday was my cousin's son's b-day party. Kid is a wild-child, but he's so funny. More people than planned showed up, but deep down, he knew it was bound to happen.

My family met Jennie and her son for the first time. I knew it would be a shock to all of them as well as us. I'll admit I was nervous. For the longest time, they thought I was still dating my ex even though I constantly reminded them that we broke up in 1998 and we were just friends.

Well, now they know for sure.... I think. To tell the truth, they're probably thinking I'm two-timing on my ex, and they hate me now. HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that would be funny... but entirely in the realm of the probable. *sigh*

Just wait until my step-family meets Jennie. To this day, they think I'm going to get married to my ex. Oh well, it'll give them something to talk about. :)
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Apr. 1st, 2005 @ 11:12 am Is happy
Current Mood: happy
Got motorcycle insurance today!

I'm paying $147/yr. This has a $250 deductible for full-coverage, roadside assistance, and covers uninsured motorists. Normally it would have been $105/yr but I opted for uninsured motorist incase one of these assholes who do not have insurance decides to run me off the road.

Now I need to get my leathers back from my cousin.
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